Please indicate the degree of discomfort you would have in the situation listed below, using the following scale.
1 – Comfortable
2 – A little uncomfortable
3 – Moderately uncomfortable
4 – Very uncomfortable
5 – Extremely uncomfortable
____ Confront a fellow coworker about a problem you have with him or her.
____ Ask a friend for the money he or she owes you.
____ Apologize when you are at fault.
____ Start up a conversation with a stranger in a strange place.
____ Turn down a relative’s request for a favor.
____ Turn off a talkative friend.
____ Tell a friend he or she did something that offended you.
____ Ask someone out socially for a second time after he or she turned you down
the first time.
____ Admit you don’t know the meaning of a word when you are among a group of
friends who ask you for the definition.
____ Tell someone you that do not like them.
____ Accept a compliment.
____ Argue your opinion when it differs from someone you feel intimidated by.
____ Return your food at a restaurant when it is unsatisfactory.
____ Request the return of something a friend borrowed.
____ Tell your boss when you feel he or she needs constructive criticism. .
____ Tell your boss when you feel you have been treated unfairly.
____ Turn in a dishonest coworker.
____ Ask your partner for attention and affection.
____ Ask someone to put his or her cigarette out.
____ Look someone in the eye when you are criticizing him or her.
____ Tell your partner you feel jealous or insecure.
____ Admit your fears.
____ Tell others about your accomplishments.
____ Discuss with someone his or her criticism of you.
____ Go above and beyond your immediate supervisor if you feel it is necessary.
Now, add up your score and note the interpretations below:
Scoring
25 – 30 Assertive-Aggressive: You probably have no problem being assertive. You are actually probably quite aggressive. You aren’t afraid to ask for what you want and you don’t have a problem confronting someone. This is good as long as you don’t hurt others, aren’t pushy or offensive.
30 – 50 Assertive: This is a fairly healthy score. You probably have no trouble being assertive. But at certain times in certain situations you can be sensitive—which is good. You care about people and their feelings, but not to the point of abusing yourself.
51 – 75 Passive-Assertive: You are probably the type of person who would not send your meal back at a restaurant, but you might tell the waitress at the end of the meal (by the look on your face or verbally) that the food was not great. You are assertive when you are forced to be or with people you feel comfortable with. You could stand up for yourself a little more.
76 – 100 Passive: You probably have a hard time being assertive most of the time. Being assertive gives you anxiety. You don’t want people to think poorly of you, and you don’t want to hurt other peoples’ feelings. This is something you definitely need to work on. Start saying, “No, I’m sorry I can’t” a little more often.
101 – 125 Wimp: All right. It’s time to start standing up for yourself. You will notice that you like yourself better when you do, and others will respect you for it. No, they won’t stop caring about you, so don’t worry about that.