I bet you’ve noticed, the world seems like a real scary place right now! From pandemics to natural disasters and more, it likely comes as no surprise that many of us are more anxious than ever before in our lives. And the truth is, we really don’t know if we’re going to have more lockdowns or not. If there is one thing we learned from this last year, it is to Expect the Unexpected!
So, if you rotate between focusing on your immediate world with your friends, and family, versus freaking out and feeling horrified and helpless by recent events, know you are not alone. Most of us are right there with you. And the globalization of news and media has not made this any easier. We are more aware of what’s happening around the world than any other time in history. While to some extent this has benefits, it also might produce various negative feelings, such as overwhelm, loss of control, anxiousness, fear, anger, sadness, depression, frustration and more. So, let’s bring tense and anxious feelings out from the shadows and confront them head-on. Know that it is okay to feel this way, and perhaps this reading will offer you better ways to help you cope with all this nonsense.
First, Let’s Quit the Toxic Positivity: What is it? Alright, this isn’t to bash positivity…. we’re all for it! However, it’s the toxic positivity idea that you should remain positive no matter how difficult an event or situation is. And let’s be honest and realistic here, this mindset is not always useful. If you just lost a family member or friend, you have every right to mourn and grieve that loss. At a time of grief, no one needs to be told to be thankful for what they have or tell them they should look on the bright side. It invalidates their feelings of loss, which are real. Also, we should not have to justify our sad feelings or anxieties to anyone or even try to “suck it all up”.
So, Feel Your Feelings, and Don’t Let Them Become You! In other words, it okay to feel. This is what being human is all about. Our feelings often are not always lucid and logical. However, feeling them is absolutely necessary to get through these turbulent and tough times. Not dealing with them can make you kind of like a ticking timebomb waiting explode.
So, mourn the life you once had. It’s okay. Recognize your feelings of fear and uncertainty. They are completely valid. It is impossible to feel good all the time, and here’s the good news. You do not have to put on any kind of ‘brave’ show! In fact, you shouldn’t. Sometimes, we all need moments to cry, feel angry, or talk through our feelings and why we think we are feeling them. Find the person you trust to listen to you without judgement or make that therapy appointment. When all else fails, write it down…pour out all your feelings onto paper.
I’m telling you right here and now that is okay to feel! However, feeling your feelings is not an excuse to not do something about them, which leads us right into the next section below sharing about the actions you can take to cope and feel better within all this mess we’re in.
If you are reading this, you probably want to feel better. Pandemic fatigue is common. So, for starters in dealing with all this better, here are five things you can do to cope even during lockdowns.
Create Lists and Check Them Off: This might sound silly, but this process can give you and your family a sense of purpose. Got projects on the backburner? Make those list and get them done! Make daily checklists for your work and your personal life. Checking them off will feel good. You’ll feel productive and accomplished, which seems really hard to find right now
Support Others: Chances are, other people in your circle are feeling the same as you, if not worse. It’s time to lean on each other and support each other, even if at times you cannot physically be around them. Grab that phone and call up your family and friends. Or put together a gift basket or send them a simple uplifting ‘hello, I miss you’ note in the mail.
Refine your Sleep, Diet, and Exercise Habits. Have you been on yourself to get to bed by 10 p.m. but those after-work drinks last too long? Or have you been unable to stick to a healthy diet and exercise routine because of your social commitments? Again, now is the time to do something about going to bed at a decent hour and plan healthy meals ahead of time. Schedule those at-home workouts and nail down a regular routine. Then when your life gets flooded with other commitments, you will still have the basics down pat for yourself and feel more in control.
Limit Your TV Watching Time: Now, this doesn’t mean you have to go off grid by any means. However, you might want to consider starting some new rules around screen time that work for you. Arrange times where you don’t watch TV, the computer, or phone. Instead, maybe read a book about how to finally start that side gig or how to forgive that ex-spouse from years ago so you can start living the life you want.
Try Deep Breathing Techniques: When the feelings get too much for you, tune into your breath. It sounds so simple but try it anyway. Take a deep breath, count to four, and fill your belly. Pause for four counts, then exhale for four, completely emptying the air from your lungs. Repeat this for 10-20 breaths. After this, you should feel a lot calmer. If you feel you need more, repeat the process for 3-5 rounds.Remember it’s Okay, not to feel Okay. Go easy on yourself. A little self-compassion goes a long way even if the past year has been traumatizing in so many ways. It is real. These feelings you have are real. Feel them. Don’t avoid them. It’s just simply a part of life. Then you can have the wherewithal to take action. This doesn’t mean anything huge, it really might just mean focusing on your breathing, as described above. Or, it might really mean doing nothing at all for a few days while you process. When you are ready, imagine the advice you would give to your best friend and give that to yourself. Then take all this advice and run with it. Notice then what happens to your life. Hey, give these tips a chance, and watch what happens to your life. Go For it! 😊